"Looking for Lovely"

“Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make. Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.” Proverbs 3:5-7, TPT

Well, we’ve reached the end of section two in our book. This chapter perfectly summarizes what looking for lovely has done in my own heart and mind. I’ve learned to trust myself because of my growing trust in the Lord’s goodness.

I underlined, highlighted, and starred this paragraph on page 164,

“I was worried, though. I was worried that I was going to miss what God had for me because I couldn’t see the RIGHT or WRONG of the situations. ‘Just show me, Lord,’ I was saying, ‘and I’ll do what You want. I just don’t know where either of these is going.’”

Something has broken in the best way for me this summer. My need to please God and others has kept me completely paralyzed. I so desperately want to do right for God and others which is a good thing until it became the thing.

The verses from Proverbs that I shared are some of the first ones I ever memorized. I was little, y’all. Think Bible drills if you were part of a church that had such a thing. I was probably 9 or 10 when I learned these words, and they’ve played a part in every season of my life. I’m glad, and I’m grateful! I learned a different version, of course,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

I’m not exactly sure which translation this is, but it’s the one I know well. These are the words I’ve written in countless journals, prayed with many friends, and spoken to myself over and over. Unfortunately, the way I understood the message was that there is a way and a plan for my life and if I trusted God correctly, I could know that plan. With God's plan there would be no mistakes, no embarrassments, and absolutely no broken hearts.

Today, I believe that kind of logic is a trap. There isn’t much lovely about it. The version of me that I am today knows Jesus in a more intimate way. Maybe I know myself in a more intimate way. The reality is, even on my best day I can’t trust God correctly. There is an element of true faith that includes blind trust otherwise it wouldn’t be faith.

Part of being human means that I’m going to make mistakes, miss the point, and fail even while trying to live this life well. Part of being in relationship with other humans means the choices of another person could cause harm to me and my life even if I’m trying to stay on God’s path. If I think too much about these “what if’s” I tend to become too focused on the rules rather than the lovely. (Just ask me how I know this!)

This summer, God has transformed my thinking. Annie’s story has helped me to see that Proverbs 3:5-7 is all about intimacy with Jesus. Trusting God with my life means that I live aware that He is with me, in me, and all around me regardless of what is happening. I don’t have to fear, ignore, or avoid bad things in my search of lovely. When my reliance is on the perfection of God, my own perfection isn’t necessary. If I could live without failure, I’d completely miss the extreme loveliness of Jesus who came right into the ugly mess and made it beautiful.

That is the beauty of redemption!

We don’t have to white knuckle our way to becoming people who persevere. That’s not the point. If we make perseverance the goal, it will take over just like rule following can. How precious that grace and perseverance live together on Annie's wrists.

We get to settle into a sweet surrender to God and His way, because we know that HE works all things together in lovely ways. We are finishers, because Jesus already said, “It is finished!”

God, I love You so much! We love You so much. Your ways are lovely, and I’m so grateful for that reminder this summer. For a rule-follower, type A personality, and people pleaser like myself, I’m thrilled to finally see that I can mess up, miss the mark, and struggle. You made me, so You know how my humanity causes me to make mistakes. I can know You even more intimately because of my brokenness. That is true for the people I love as well. So, I just don’t have to live stressed out and gripping for control. I can surrender. I get to let go and fall into Your loving arms. That’s the sweet spot! I pray I never forget it. Amen.