"Looking for Lovely"

Have you ever thought about the reality that we get to experience lovely because our Jesus chose to walk a broken, sorrow-filled, ugly path? I'm sure you have. But, isn't it a sobering reminder today?

Read Matthew 26:36-46 within “Looking for Lovely” or in your Bible. Read it slowly even if it’s the hundredth time you’ve read this story. Ask Holy Spirit to allow you to feel the lovely that is missing from this singular part of Jesus’ story.

Sitting in that garden, Jesus had been betrayed, forgotten, and neglected by His friends and family. He was looking towards a future that was going to be painful, sad, and humiliating. Even though He was fully God, He’d chosen to be fully man. His heart wanted a different path and to fulfill His purpose on Earth. These two things seemed to be in opposition.

Over the past couple of years and due to the urging of several authors, I have been focusing on this verse from Mark’s gospel account of the Garden of Gethsemane,

“My heart is overwhelmed with anguish and crushed with grief. It feels as though I’m dying. Stay here and keep watch with me.” (Mark 14:34, TPT)

I’ve read this verse so many times, but I’m looking at it with new lenses. What did Jesus want these three men to watch? Were they watching for the betrayer? Was Jesus asking them to keep Him safe? Did He need Peter, James, and John to be on the lookout for whatever was coming next?

None of these things can be true. Jesus knew who His betrayer was, but the disciples didn’t. Peter, James, and John had already failed several times at keeping Jesus’ mission, and we now know that they weren’t capable of handling what was coming next (think Peter, sword, and a soldier’s ear).

So, what was Jesus asking them to watch for?

I believe it’s very possible He wanted these three men that were going to carry Christianity into the future to watch how Jesus handled grief and turmoil. He was at the very lowest of human experiences. Most of us will never know pain and suffering to the extent that Jesus did, but He knew we’d all experience varying degrees of it. Therefore, he asked these future leaders to sit and watch how a healthy and whole human deals with difficulty, uncertainty, grief, and pain.

Read those verses in Matthew again and notice how Jesus handled His human condition.

1. He paid attention to and named His feelings. (verse 38)

2. He humbled Himself in honest prayer to His Father. (verse 39)

3. He invited friends into His emotions. (verse 41)

4. He asked for His desires while yielding to God’s wisdom. (verse 42)

5. He stepped forward into the unknown with boldness. (verse 46)

Like Annie, I can’t read these verses without tears and exclamations of “thank you!” Because Jesus made the decision in this Garden to give up His life, I am saved right now. I am so, so grateful.

And, I still want my way, my goodness, and my lovely. Since I can’t bypass the hard, I can look to Jesus’ example in the Garden. The path to lovely is dealing appropriately with grief and suffering. He gave us this example to follow…. Pay attention, pray with honesty, invite people to join, ask for what you want, and follow through with boldness. It won't be easy, but I know it will be beautiful.

We can do this, girls. My heart feels the lovely already.

God, what a picture of surrender! Is that it? Is surrender the truest pathway to lovely? We just get in our own way, don’t we? I pray You’ll continue to bring us to the end of ourselves. You have such lovely things for us, but we will certainly miss it if we keep trying to bypass the way of surrender. Give us humble hearts that want to find Your lovely no matter what. Amen.