"Looking for Lovely"
In January of 2020, I sat with a counselor and began to tell some of the stories I’d never really faced before. It’s so weird to say it that way, because I was not telling secrets. I simply talked about things that everyone in my world knew. I just talked about them in different ways. I spoke with language that let her and others know I was hurting. I'd just never really done that before.
As I was telling one of the stories, I said, “I’m not trying to be dramatic, but this was traumatizing and terrible.” I’ll never forget how my counselor responded at the end of me telling the full story of what I felt was crazy making. She didn’t question me about the details. She didn’t correct any of my feelings or emotions. She simply said in a very low voice and with pure understanding in her tone, “Amy, I’ve never known you to be dramatic.” That was her way of saying, "Feel your feelings. It's not dramatic. It's just new." Thank you, Crystal!
Three years later, I realize she was telling me was to trust myself and my adjectives. If something felt traumatizing and terrible to me, it probably was. I’d just never let myself feel extremes.
Today, I’m letting myself feel extreme as I agree with Annie in the very last statement of the next chapter. She said, “When I found lovely, both in me and in the world, it changed everything.” Everything is dramatic, right? But that’s what God has done for me in reading this book. Finding lovely in me and in the world has changed everything.
Now that I’ve spoiled the ending of the chapter, I want you to go there and read. It’s short and sweet. Grab your book or phone and read “Perspective Shifts.” Enjoy every word.
God, My heart is full, but all I can think to pray is a blessing over Annie Downs. I’m so thankful that she chose to share the vulnerability of real life with us. I’m so grateful that you met her in all of her unlovely to lovely spaces in ways that made her overflow with a goodness that had to be shared. I’ll never be the same! Your work in the lives of humanity is such a beautiful story, and I’m thankful for people that choose to share it. Bless Annie’s life and her ministry. Be close to her today and every day. Help her to feel the love and support of all of us who have been changed by her words. Amen.
