"Looking for Lovely"

“Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart.” Philippians 1:3-4 (MSG)

My people.

Truly…. I love my people. I always have.

I could identify with so much of what Annie said. Trade out the names, the meals, the crises, and the groups, and I could have made every one of her stories fit my own. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if casseroles couldn’t be part of my meal prep, though.

On page 139, Annie said, “…. When my broken crazy got bad, I told them (her people). Again, Annie’s story is much like my own, but this little detail is something I’ve learned in the past couple of years. Sharing my own, personal broken crazy with my people is not something I’ve always done.

Read Exodus 17:8-16. Please, read it slowly and carefully. Picture the details. Imagine the characters. Put yourself in the story somewhere.

I love this story so much. Moses was leading Israel to the Promised Land. If you don’t know the full story, I pray you’ll read it for yourself one day. To make a very long story short, they’d been traveling for a while and the conditions had not been the best. They’d experienced the trauma of abuse from Egypt. Then, they’d had to escape in the night and run for their lives through the parted Red Sea. Finding provision for basic needs hadn’t been easy, and they had no idea where they were going. Moses had to be a bit scared and unsure. But he had to lead.

My Bible says that he led them to Rephidim, “the place of rest,” where Amalek came out to fight them. Ladies, can you picture it? Do you remember the last time you dragged yourself to a place of rest in the middle of tough times only to find another task waiting on you? This is the stuff of life.

I love the image of Exodus 17. Every character had their own part to play in the story, but they were all interdependent. They needed each other for a successful ending.

Can you imagine Moses being grateful for the presence and support of Aaron and Hur but refusing to admit he needed their actual help? How silly would it have been for Moses to have two willing and able men at his side but never confess that his arms were tired and heavy. I mean, he was the leader. Shouldn’t he have just done whatever he needed to do in order to lift his own arms and spur the Israelites on to victory.

Unfortunately, I’ve lived me life in that silly way too long. God made me a leader. Then, He put me in leadership positions. Even in my friend groups, I tend to be a leader, organizer, helper. I think it's the way I learned to cope with scary situations growing up. I controlled and fixed. If things looked uncertain, I just made them certain. People generally appreciate that ability. When life would get difficult for my people, I was very eager to help, to encourage, and to instruct. When life was difficult for me, I would share just enough to ask for prayer. Then, I would tidy the story up, speak Truth over it, and attempt to move on....

Until the broken crazy got so crazy that it was obvious to all of my people. Y’all… that was terrifying. Neat and orderly me was a fat mess in front of the world. All of the things I was trying desperately to hold together were falling apart in front of everyone. Some people couldn’t handle it. That is OK! Some people could, though. And I learned a valuable lesson. It’s the same lesson Annie ended our chapter with,

“… without your people, without letting them in and letting them know you, you won’t be able to persevere. Your people remind you of the goodness of God and remind you of what it means to finish.” (page 143)

Letting people in is hard! Not everyone will handle our weakness and insufficiencies well. Again, that’s OK. Everyone is on their own journey and in their own processes. If they can’t handle your broken crazy, maybe they just haven’t learned to deal with their own.

But isn’t it worth the risk to find out who can handle it, who can help you handle it? Wouldn’t it be amazing to find a couple of people who don’t mind pushing up a rock for you to sit on and holding your arms up so that you can rest when you need to rest? How awesome would it be to learn you have a support system when life gets heavy and messy?

We need it y’all. I need it! I’m thankful to have it. The embarrassing journey of coming unraveled has uncovered a few friends and some family members who are able and willing to hold my arms up when life gets too heavy. Occasionally, I get to do the same for them. THAT is the gift of doing life (really doing life) with my people. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

What about you? At some point today, read Exodus 17:8-16 again and ask God to uncover your Aaron and Hur. Give thanks for your people. Ask God for the wisdom and courage to be another person’s “people.”

This is your space for your prayer to God. Make it very honest and personal. Ask God for what you want.