November 2, 2020
40 Days of Proclamation – FAITHFUL
Emmy Baxter Vaughn
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” Hebrews 10:23
When asked to write a post about 2020 my first reaction was, “Really? I’m not totally sure you want to hear what I have to say about it haha!”. But the more I thought on it, the more I realized how cathartic for myself writing this post would be; and more importantly, a huge testament to God’s character.
I would first like to share a journal entry I wrote at the end of December 2019. At this time, I was already struggling with the intensity of my very first job as a nurse on a Cardiac Medicine Step down Unit at Vanderbilt. I was only about three months in, but I already felt the emotional and physical toll this field can take on someone. This is what I wrote:
“Ruth and Esther…women of faith! They did not have easy lives, so why do I expect one? What is it about human nature that shies away from hard work. We crave easy, we crave no stress, no pressure. But without pressure, how would God mold us? Ruth and Esther pressed into the molding. They listened to the counsel of those around them, older than them, wiser than them. I long for that in my life Jesus. To be a woman of faith is to obey you even when it is scary, when it’s hard. I’m so resistant to change Jesus, I pray I would not be resistant to your voice. Jesus, help me not to allow fear to guide my actions”.
After writing this entry, I began reading through and studying the books of Ruth and Esther. Looking back now, I can see so clearly how the Lord was faithfully preparing my heart for the year to come.
2020 has been a big year for me, I got married as well as dove headlong into my first year of nursing! Mid March was when things really turned upside down. Amidst wedding planning and night shift, I was told that my unit would be going from the Cardiac Medicine floor to the Covid floor…yikes! This was a scary time. And to be honest with you, it still is. Each day that I go in to work, I walk in not knowing what kind of condition my patients will be in. Some days it seems as if people are healing, making a quick recovery; other days I have individuals whose hands I’m holding as they take their final breaths.
Through it all I can hear the Lord saying to me as He once said to Esther, “For such a time as this.” Each day I choose to go into work with the confidence that this is where the Lord is calling me right now. Without his faithfulness through this year, I would have given up so many times. His presence alone is what has sustained me. Everyday, with every patient, he renews in me a desire to bring to them His tender love and healing.
God has also been faithful to me through my new husband. What a joyful gift he gave me in him! Up until one week before our set date, we were unsure if we were going to be able to have a wedding haha! But because of God and his faithfulness, we were able to have the most beautiful weekend surrounded by friends and family as they celebrated our union together. Over and over again, God has shown me his faithfulness through Kyle and how well he loves me.
Lastly, I want to share a song that has become very special to me this year, a great reminder of God’s faithful goodness! It’s called The Goodness of God, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvSuGyJQ6oM
I pray that each day you would open my eyes to see how you are being/have been faithful to me. I pray that I would trust you even when it’s hard, and that I would be confident that you will equip me with your strength. Thank you for making me brave even when I feel as if I am not. Thank you for your goodness.
For further reading: Esther 4:14; Ruth 2; Lamentations 3: 21-23
Goodness of God (Official Lyric Video) - Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson | VICTORY