We are each His beautiful and unique vessel, called to put out the light and love of Christ; therefore, We Go: Obediently even when we aren’t sure what that means
Luke 11:28 But He said, “On the contrary; blessed are those who hear
the word of God and observe it.” Proverbs 3:6-16 MSG
1 Samuel 3
"Stop it daddy that’s my mommy!"
Those word changed everything.
Since before I can remember, I wanted the fairy tale. When I look back to seasons in my life, they could be defined by who I "loved" at that time of my life. I was always trying to fill the hole in my heart but something was missing.
After hearing my two year old say, "Stop it Daddy! That's my mommy!" I had no idea where I was going. I was barefoot, in my pajamas with a 2 year old and 2 dogs in my car. I wish I could say "Right then, found Jesus." Unfortunately, I didn't. My marriage ended in divorce and I was still searching for an earthly man to fill the hole. I dated, drank, partied, and did things I am not proud of.
One night, after a late night of partying, I was lying in bed, scrolling through Facebook and a Facebook "friend" had posted about a youth camp at his church. Bryce, now a 5th grader, would love that. And maybe he'd even get to know Jesus! It looked like so much fun! I decided I needed to check out this church, just for for Bryce... not me.
The next morning, as I pulled into the parking lot, late. As I walked in, a sweet girl took me right up to the balcony and said I was just a little late (ha... try 35 min.) I sat in that chair, listening, and sobbing and stayed there through the next service as well. Afterwards, I went to pray with the prayer team.
I wish I could tell you that on that day, everything got better. It didn't. I still looked for something to fill that hole. As I got closer to God, I started to see that I didn't love myself very much. Then the shame set in. I was embarrassed of my life and all of the bad choices I had made.
One day a friend asked me to serve at church as we opened a new campus, and then she asked me to join Soul Sisters. Invested people invest in people. At the Soul Sisters Retreat, we were asked what the one word that we would describe ourselves that needs to change. UNLOVEABLE. That was mine. Even as I type it, I get tears in my eyes. I knew that my family and my friends loved me, but I am not sure my ex-husband ever loved me and I
couldn't hold a boyfriend long enough to love me. I knew I was broken.... missing something. It was there, that I heard the story of the woman at the well. It hit me... no human could ever fill the hole inside me. That hole is where God needs to be. Jesus belonged there. Now I find myself running into town just like that Samaritan woman, yelling, "Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done!" (John 4:28) And He still loves me!!!
God used a 2 year old to get me out of an unhealthy relationship, and then He used a 5th grade boy to get me into church, and now I want him
to use me to help others! I want everyone to "Come and See!"
Father God, Thank you for loving us and being patient with us. Lord, we know you are calling us and pushing us every day. Keep our hearts
and our minds open to hearing you and following your direction. Remind us daily that there is no where we can go that will cause you to stop
seeking us. I am so grateful that you didn't give up on me and that you won't give up on any of us. Let us take the time to hear you and act obediently. You are the God of all creation and we love and honor you. May everything that we do glorify you. Thank you for this sweet group of ladies who life each other up daily. In Jesus's name we pray, Amen!